amazing. full. and beautiful.

life is amazing. full. and beautiful. i've been so caught up in things. so caught up in things i'm forgetting about anything but what is right in front of me. how did that happen? i don't even ask that question anymore. i'm gardening. cooking. farming. drinking cosmos. arranging flowers. watching avery walk, water the flowers, kick a ball, pick strawberries. he picks them and pops them whole into his little mouth. i am getting lost in the moment. moment after moment, day after day after day...and soon it will be July.

this little spot we call home is heaven. lush with my labor. native plants mixed with vegetables, mixed with berries, mixed with heavy whipping cream. mint mixed into mojitos. sun mixed with sweat. i am happy. here. and now.

there is so much bounty in this season. i forget that just a few months ago nothing was green yet. or ripe yet. now, rhubarb and strawberry jam lines my counter. greens, spinach, lettuce, mizuna, arugula, green onions pack the fridge. peonies on every window sill. it's this mystery that makes life amazing. full. and beautiful.

here is a recipe for cilantro pesto...oh my god! you have got to make it. tonight.

2 cups packed cilantro leaves
3-4 garlic cloves
1/2 cup grated parmesan
handful of macadamia nuts (toasted)
olive oil
salt to taste
1/2 cup sour cream (added at the end)

Mix all in a food processor and blend. add the oil as you mix until a nice paste. Add the sour cream at the end. toss with pasta. Enjoy!


something like that

yesterday my day went something like this:

woke up to smiling baby sitting next to me pointing at the window signing "please" which means, "please mom, get up, take me downstairs and outside so I can go see the birds." but it was raining so the day didn't start off in the usual way.

i hate rain.

so we're stuck inside. just the two of us. i start to make some coffee. avery pees his pants 3 times and that was just before breakfast. most of which ended up on the floor, not in his mouth. several touch and feel books later, he pees his pants AGAIN. the elimination communication seems to be working...only sort of. he pees first, then he grunts as if to tell us "hey check out this sweet puddle on the floor."

finally, it's nap time. also known as: scrub the mango, grapes and kiwi chunks off the floor, do the dishes, start a load of laundry, make the bed, pay some bills, check in with work, pick up books, write a letter, check on my grass seed, do another load of laundry, missed some of breakfast on the wall, scrub that too.....oh, he's awake.

stops raining, so there is only one thing to do, head to the farm. but it's muddy and buggy. but still i press on. have many flowers to plant. avery proceeds to spill a whole jug of water on himself (i have brought no extra clothes) and then sit on several of the new little flowers i have planted. he does well, really. he is patient as i work for an hour or two. but by the time i get my work done, his face is swollen from so many knat bites and he is very, very dirty. and crabby. i strip him down before i put him in the car. i'm exhausted, but HE is the one that gets to pass out on the way home.

another nap means i can actually get myself cleaned up. there is mud between my toes, and under my nails, and in my hair. i shower and THEN bathe. ahhh. that feels nice. then matt comes home and finds me in there. i can sense his judgment, "what do you DO all day anyway??? take baths and nap???" but he doesn't dare say it.

so i say, "how was your day?" but when he launches in on the stress of owning your own business, my eyes glaze over and wish i could tell him what i really meant to say was, "could you bring me a glass of wine, order some indian take out food, and when the baby wakes up take him for a walk, and come back on friday?"

or something like that.