slight crisis

there is a slight crisis happening...i am no longer single (going on 6 years now) and i'm soon going to be a mother-shit!
how did this happen?!

the crisis arises out of several events that have happened this week.

day one.

an invitation to take the train to milwaukee to hang out with my girls. "sorry, can't go. may go into labor right there on the hard vinyl seats." get a call from said girl. she wore satin gloves on the train. she met a boy. he was on his way to chicago. he rolled a cigarette just outside of milwaukee. she gets off there. he gets off too, to smoke. she says goodbye, starts to walk away, then sets her suitcase down, turns around and goes back to kiss him. she kisses him on the lips, then turns and walks away. she calls to tell me all the juicy details. she said it was the gloves.

meanwhile....back at the homefront.....i'm checking her back door to make sure it's locked. it is. i walk (correction: waddle) home in the rain.

day two.

get a call from another good friend. i answer excited. "hello!" there's a lot of background noise, but i manage to hear, "meet us at the stardust in 20 minutes." i think. hmmmmm. "did you call the wrong amanda?" i ask. "oh my god......" laughing histarically. "i'm in new york. i'm trying to get a hold of amanda _________. we're out here taking classes at the broadway dance center. we're done for the evening and going out. but anyway, how are you?" "great" i lie. what i'm really thinking is just great, another friend i could be with. you know i used to be a dancer. in a former life. at least it feels that way. i used to fly off to ocean city and new york to dance and perform. i remember those trips. what happened? "well, i really should get a hold of her so she can meet us." "have fun" i lie.

meanwhile....i'm sitting on my couch watching oprah. suddenly she's not that inspiring.

day three.

this time, i make the call to yet another friend. she's going to see
  • lisa ling
  • speak. she says she may be able to get another ticket. "can't" I say. i'm driving south on I35, heading to the farm. have to clean the horse barn. some guy is getting a divorce and needs a place to live. she meets lisa and gets her picture taken. she is having the time of her life.

    meanwhile....i'm scrubbing shit off the floors and mildew off the walls.

    is this what life is going to be like from here on out?! can anyone else see the crisis here?! all i have to say is this baby better be really damn cute.


    thin mints

    there is nothing thin about me these days. and at the rate i'm burning through the 7 boxes of girl scout cookies i ordered months ago, i'm bound to be even less thin. but dang, do i love those thin mints!

    matt prefers the samoas (i did order him a couple of boxes) but the rest are all mine....thin mints.

    i love how they crunch and crumble in my mouth. how the waxy chocolate coating doesn't melt in your fingers as you grip them. and the best part is, they come in convenient one-serving sleeves. that's right, i view the long roll of cellophane-wrapped cookies as a single serving. and if you try to tell me otherwise, i might just kill you.

    i'm pregnant, hungry, and in LOVE with thin mints.