addicted to love

i just had the most fantastic night. i actually went to a movie! I haven't seen a movie in the theater since we lived in st. paul one summer night and walked to the grandview. that was 5 years ago. and i believe i may have been drunk. yes, you may think that absurd. but i don't like movies. ok, i don't like MOST movies, or maybe they just disturb me too much. well this movie was disturbing, but in a good way. do you know what i mean? this movie shook me to the core. check out the link and watch the preview and you'll know what i mean.

birth has been on my mind so much lately. yesterday was matt's birthday and i thought of his mom, braving the cold and the long road from the farm into town where he came into he world. 32 years ago. i'm also thinking about avery's birth, and the beauty that it was. i'm thinking about rachel, the woman who was there to witness, to assist. and my sister, the first to arrive. i'm thinking about the ecstasy of birthing him. ahhhh avery.

and i'm thinking about my new friend anne from Norway who went with me to the movie last night. we drove up to the city and we had tea and talked like we'd known eachother for years. she's expecting her first baby in a few months. but is sad she won't give birth in Norway, where any kind of birth is paid for. where she would have received 45 weeks PAID maternity leave. fully paid, not just half-ass paid. "i am so curious at how your country treats women" she tells me. me too.

but none of that matters today. because i'm entering a brave new world. i'm going to stop noticing the injustices so much. there was so much to be outraged by in the film. the way women have been taught to fear birth. to fear their bodies. to fear their babies! but there was also so much to be excited about. so many beautiful births. and the commentary that a natural birth releases hormones that make a woman literally "addicted to loving her baby." but i'm not going to think about a world where that "love cocktail" gets disrupted. no, i'm just going to notice the courage, the joy, and the beauty (thanks paige) that IS POSSIBLE. so, it's a birth of my own i guess.

and then, as i began to imagine a world where ALL people were addicted to love and wonder how i could be a part of that.... something wonderful happened.....i was invited to attend my first birth! i am so honored. i am so in awe. the universe does listen. birth is where my new work lies. and it feels like the only place to start. birth. the ultimate beginning.



sweet memories....