Upon further consideration, I realized that the revolution is here and now. Just because I am a mom, doesn't mean I'm not part of a revolution. Just cause I spend most of my days in the garden, digging up vegetables doesn't mean I can't change the world.
In fact, CSA farms were started by a group of housewives in Japan who wanted to know where their food was coming from. They started working directly with organic farmers...and soon the word spread and the CSA revolution was born.
And there are also mothers who are sending their breastmilk to Africa to feed the orphans whose mother's have died of AIDS. If that is not revolutionary, I don't know what is.
These women are revolutionaries. And they are moms. Huh.
Who woulda thought....
7/22/07
where's the revolution?
so, the other day i was talking to a friend. we were at the farm, sitting under the walnut tree. she was telling me about her new job and how she works with immigrants and fights for immigrants' rights. she is fluent in spanish. she speaks spanish to avery. i love that. i wish i could speak another language. but i can't. i can only arrange flowers.
so, as i arranged the flowers i asked her more about the life that she's living and the lives that she's changing. and she says that she mostly just sits in front of the computer emailing beaurocratic bullshit. and after that she said, "this can't be the revolution, can it?!" and i thought to myself, what revolution? is there a revolution happening?
so, it made me think about revolutions, and what happened to my inner revolutionary?
lately it's hard for me to think of being a revolutionary. i'm just so....tired. and the things worth fighting for now are my right to breast feed in public. my right to good, local food. my right to stay at home with my babe, or to work if I want to. but these are hardly the revolutions of my youth. nor the revolutions that my friend speaks of.
a boob revolution? a food revolution?
hardly new york times material. but i've swore off the media anyway, so why do i care? unfortunately, there is still a part of me that does. care, I mean. i want to start a revolution. but like i said, i can only arrange flowers.
so, as i arranged the flowers i asked her more about the life that she's living and the lives that she's changing. and she says that she mostly just sits in front of the computer emailing beaurocratic bullshit. and after that she said, "this can't be the revolution, can it?!" and i thought to myself, what revolution? is there a revolution happening?
so, it made me think about revolutions, and what happened to my inner revolutionary?
lately it's hard for me to think of being a revolutionary. i'm just so....tired. and the things worth fighting for now are my right to breast feed in public. my right to good, local food. my right to stay at home with my babe, or to work if I want to. but these are hardly the revolutions of my youth. nor the revolutions that my friend speaks of.
a boob revolution? a food revolution?
hardly new york times material. but i've swore off the media anyway, so why do i care? unfortunately, there is still a part of me that does. care, I mean. i want to start a revolution. but like i said, i can only arrange flowers.
7/15/07
break
my infofast was incredible. no tv, no news, no books, no mags, no nothin' for a week. and it was a really nice break. in fact, i sort of forgot to check in again after the week was up (sorry anne). needless to say, i enjoyed my free time. i actually slowed down and began to really think about how i wanted to spend my time. my favorite new past-time...watching avery sleep. i had always heard people talk about watching their babies sleep and i secrectly thought, "that sounds like a perfect waste of time, shouldn't you be getting stuff done?? don't you have a LIFE??" well, it is heaven. watching him sleep. and what's even better is watching BOTH my boys fast asleep...and so, after a week of living my own life, instead of being told what to care about, i finally found my own newsworthy story. and it was right here all along. 
7/6/07
tmi
we had an interesting conversation the other night on paige's back porch. we talked about info. that is information for short. well, we got to talking about where we get our info., how we get our info. (print, web, t.v.) and how there is just way too much bad info. out there. we talked about how the media and context of our info. is so severely biased. and that we're bombarded daily with news and info. that other people think is important. but can we believe everything we see, read or hear? and is there just too much information?
what would it be like if we got our info. from our life experiences? what would it be like if people walked outside to check the weather rather than checking the local forcast? what would it have been like to learn about breastfeeding first hand, from other mothers rather than having to read a book? what if we all learned about the world from expereiencing it, rather than living vicariously through the info. we get on the nightly news, or in the paper?
then i started thinking about where i get MY info. there's the ellen show, and then the View (which i consider my "news" intake for the day). then there is the blog world, lots of info. to weed through there. and can't forget the monthly subscriptions: Dwell, Mothering, The Sun, Cookie. and, not to mention the 4 books i'm currently reading: Operating Instructions, The 7 daughters of Eve, Let my People go Surfiing, and Tracks. and of course, i balance all this out with the REAL source: MPR. But, with all this info., am I any better off? am i more informed? or am i just living less?
i think it's about time to get things straight. for myself.
in efforts to figure this out i'm going to challange myself to stop the info. i'm going for a WEEK, yes, a whole week without picking up a book, a magazine or turning on the tv (oh, and no blogs either) to see how well i can function in today's world without buying into the info. what will life be like without the info? i might just have to start thinking for myself (now that's a scary thought). i'll let you know how it goes. oh, and if anyone wants to join me, feel free. it may just be liberating!
what would it be like if we got our info. from our life experiences? what would it be like if people walked outside to check the weather rather than checking the local forcast? what would it have been like to learn about breastfeeding first hand, from other mothers rather than having to read a book? what if we all learned about the world from expereiencing it, rather than living vicariously through the info. we get on the nightly news, or in the paper?
then i started thinking about where i get MY info. there's the ellen show, and then the View (which i consider my "news" intake for the day). then there is the blog world, lots of info. to weed through there. and can't forget the monthly subscriptions: Dwell, Mothering, The Sun, Cookie. and, not to mention the 4 books i'm currently reading: Operating Instructions, The 7 daughters of Eve, Let my People go Surfiing, and Tracks. and of course, i balance all this out with the REAL source: MPR. But, with all this info., am I any better off? am i more informed? or am i just living less?
i think it's about time to get things straight. for myself.
in efforts to figure this out i'm going to challange myself to stop the info. i'm going for a WEEK, yes, a whole week without picking up a book, a magazine or turning on the tv (oh, and no blogs either) to see how well i can function in today's world without buying into the info. what will life be like without the info? i might just have to start thinking for myself (now that's a scary thought). i'll let you know how it goes. oh, and if anyone wants to join me, feel free. it may just be liberating!
7/2/07
how many signs does it take to get to the center of my tootsie pop?
i'm asking for signs. signs that will bring me to the center of myself. signs that will show me which direction to go. signs that encourage me, that inspire me, that invite me to look at my life differently. i want a sign. I NEED a sign. but how many signs will it take???
so far i've received 4.
4! you may ask yourself, isn't that enough? well, yes, for a normal person. but i am NOT a normal person. and i keep asking myself how many signs it will take. and also, how do i know when i get a sign. and what if i am missing the signs. afterall, i do need to find the center of my tootsie pop.
so far i've received 4.
4! you may ask yourself, isn't that enough? well, yes, for a normal person. but i am NOT a normal person. and i keep asking myself how many signs it will take. and also, how do i know when i get a sign. and what if i am missing the signs. afterall, i do need to find the center of my tootsie pop.
6/22/07
happy birthday Amber!
this time last year i was in thailand. and i missed my sister's birthday. i wanted to talk to her so bad it hurt. i wanted to talk to anyone back home. anyone to remind me of the life that existed there. to escape for a moment what i was seeing here.
it feels like a lifetime ago... yet i remember that night in perfect detail. walking around that whole island trying to find a phone that worked. my feet hurt from my flip flops and they were filthy from walking the dirty sidewalks and through the puddles because it had rained so hard all afternoon. and trying and trying the phones, but none of them worked. and jana just kept saying, "that's thailand." and i just kept wanting to scream, "how fucked up is that! if you are going to bother putting up phones and selling phone cards then, why don't you have phone lines?" and finally just giving up cause my feet hurt and my throat hurt from choking back tears.
and now looking back, thinking about how absurd it is to have phone lines across oceans. and people in the mountains selling pillows with stories on them to people like me who come home and put them on pillows that sit on nice couches. and what kind of world can this be i keep wondering? but, another year passes. and measuring my life in years is getting harder and harder to do because of all i've seen and heard and know. but a life is not only measured in years. luckily.
so, my sister is a another year older today. and the truth is, love transcends oceans....
it feels like a lifetime ago... yet i remember that night in perfect detail. walking around that whole island trying to find a phone that worked. my feet hurt from my flip flops and they were filthy from walking the dirty sidewalks and through the puddles because it had rained so hard all afternoon. and trying and trying the phones, but none of them worked. and jana just kept saying, "that's thailand." and i just kept wanting to scream, "how fucked up is that! if you are going to bother putting up phones and selling phone cards then, why don't you have phone lines?" and finally just giving up cause my feet hurt and my throat hurt from choking back tears.
and now looking back, thinking about how absurd it is to have phone lines across oceans. and people in the mountains selling pillows with stories on them to people like me who come home and put them on pillows that sit on nice couches. and what kind of world can this be i keep wondering? but, another year passes. and measuring my life in years is getting harder and harder to do because of all i've seen and heard and know. but a life is not only measured in years. luckily.
so, my sister is a another year older today. and the truth is, love transcends oceans....
6/15/07
lota
"It's Lota. rhymes with Minnesota," she says with a chuckle after an hour of visiting with her. by now it's 7:30 and we were supposed to meet friends at the pool by 6:30. but walking down 4th street we got side tracked by a woman outside her house watering the peonies. but not just any woman. and not just any house.
it's the house matt and i have coveted ever since we started looking for houses here 3 years ago. it's a sweet, low-slung, mid-century gem, tucked amongst the victorian mansions of the east side. it's car-port, slanted roof-line and vertical cedar-siding caught our eye immediately. and so did lota. i remember when we first saw her. she was outside in her garden, it was a hot summer day, much like today. but we didn't have the courage to stop then (we weren't locals yet).
but today, walking with our stroller, feeling very local, we meandered through the east side on our way to the pool. we found ourselves instinctively walking down 4th, to see our favorite house. and there she was. all 5 feet of her. not feeling shy at all we told her we loved her home and asked if she could tell us a bit about it.
lota moved in with her husband in the summer of 1961. they bought the lot for $1200 and had a local architect design the house. his name was bob warn, and he was a student of frank lloyd wright. she said it caused quite a stir in the neighborhood, but she never did care what people thought, she said.
i liked her immediately. lota. she was a spit fire i could tell. and she was 89. we talked a a bit more and then, just as we were about to start our good-byes, she did something incredible...she invited us in! wow, what an honor we told her. "i can sense something about you two," she told us. "a lot of people stop and ask about the house, but i can tell you're really interested. wait here i have to go 'round and unlock it." and from the moment we entered until we left we heard the most incredible stories. what a gift it was to go through this woman's home with her and have her share the intimate details of her life. we just kept looking at eachother in awe as she showed us around. not only at the house, but at lota.
and as we stood in the doorway to leave, she told us how after her husband died that dozens of realtors had called to see if she would be selling. "i was polite at first, but then i started to get really agitated. they are going to have to carry me out of here--in a casket" she finally told them.
and i guess that's the lesson of lota. seeing the humaness behind the house. i have to be honest. the thought had crossed my mind years ago, when we first spotted the house and the "little old lady" outside in the garden. you can see where this is going.
i used to really love this house. but now i love lota. in fact, i'm going to have coffee with her again real soon. she may have the best house in town, but it's her, lota, that i really want to live in.
it's the house matt and i have coveted ever since we started looking for houses here 3 years ago. it's a sweet, low-slung, mid-century gem, tucked amongst the victorian mansions of the east side. it's car-port, slanted roof-line and vertical cedar-siding caught our eye immediately. and so did lota. i remember when we first saw her. she was outside in her garden, it was a hot summer day, much like today. but we didn't have the courage to stop then (we weren't locals yet).
but today, walking with our stroller, feeling very local, we meandered through the east side on our way to the pool. we found ourselves instinctively walking down 4th, to see our favorite house. and there she was. all 5 feet of her. not feeling shy at all we told her we loved her home and asked if she could tell us a bit about it.
lota moved in with her husband in the summer of 1961. they bought the lot for $1200 and had a local architect design the house. his name was bob warn, and he was a student of frank lloyd wright. she said it caused quite a stir in the neighborhood, but she never did care what people thought, she said.
i liked her immediately. lota. she was a spit fire i could tell. and she was 89. we talked a a bit more and then, just as we were about to start our good-byes, she did something incredible...she invited us in! wow, what an honor we told her. "i can sense something about you two," she told us. "a lot of people stop and ask about the house, but i can tell you're really interested. wait here i have to go 'round and unlock it." and from the moment we entered until we left we heard the most incredible stories. what a gift it was to go through this woman's home with her and have her share the intimate details of her life. we just kept looking at eachother in awe as she showed us around. not only at the house, but at lota.
and as we stood in the doorway to leave, she told us how after her husband died that dozens of realtors had called to see if she would be selling. "i was polite at first, but then i started to get really agitated. they are going to have to carry me out of here--in a casket" she finally told them.
and i guess that's the lesson of lota. seeing the humaness behind the house. i have to be honest. the thought had crossed my mind years ago, when we first spotted the house and the "little old lady" outside in the garden. you can see where this is going.
i used to really love this house. but now i love lota. in fact, i'm going to have coffee with her again real soon. she may have the best house in town, but it's her, lota, that i really want to live in.
6/12/07
Happy Anniversary!
here's a little kiss
for my little sis
who got married a year ago...
all i can say is...wow!
for my little sis
who got married a year ago...
all i can say is...wow!
5/31/07
how do you measure summer?
is it possible to measure summer? some people measure summer in t-ball games, in fish caught, or in trips to the lake. others measure summer in BBQ's, in shave-ices, or in country fairs. some measure summer in fresh tomatos, in lemonade stands, or even in mojitos.
i measure summer in tan lines....and seeing that i already have a flip-flop line on my feet (and it's not even june), i have a feeling this is going to be a VERY good summer.
is it possible to measure summer? if so, how do YOU measure summer?
i measure summer in tan lines....and seeing that i already have a flip-flop line on my feet (and it's not even june), i have a feeling this is going to be a VERY good summer.
is it possible to measure summer? if so, how do YOU measure summer?
5/23/07
things i've learned
so, Avery is 5 weeks old today. and it's incredible the things i've learned from thislittle teacher
and not just the stuff they don't tell you about, or the stuff other mothers DON'T talk about. like the extremely sore nipples, the leaking boobs, the times when i'm alone with him and don't know where to put him while i'm pooping. and the days when i don't even get a chance to poop! or eat for that matter. or how much HE'LL eat. which is CONSTANTLY! or how milk drips into the creases of his fat little neck and begins to smell sour. and how you really use burt's bees lotion to cover up the sour milk neck smell and NOT for dry skin. and how unglamorous motherhood really is, despite everything i've seen and read in PEOPLE magazine.
and then there are the things that people DO talk about, but you somehow think YOU'LL be different. like the not sleeping. and the fatigue. and the "letting yourself go." and how you have trouble concentrating. and how you sort of forget about everything else in the world. or that there even is a world outside of the two of you. and how not a second goes by anymore that i don't think (i.e. worry) about him. and how my life is not really my own anymore. and how little you can get done in a day. other than just contributing to his growing "weight problem." oh, and did i mention the not sleeping?
and then there are the things that i wasn't AT ALL prepared for. like the way his little eyes search my face and make me melt. or the way his little mouth opens up when he's hungry and he looks like a little bird. and how i can't stop kissing him. and kissing him. and kissing him. and how he feels in the croock of my arm at night in bed. and how his warm little body nestles into me and my heart literally swells with love. and how the thought of losing him (god forbid) makes me break into a million pieces. or how surreal it feels to see matt holding him. and the pride i feel as i watch him grow, and smile and laugh...and get to know everyone that loves him. like cousin Charlie, who took a swing in the hammock and tickled his little toes. or that despite all the ways my life has changed, i really couldn't imagine it any other way. and wouldn't want to go back to the way it was.
and despite all the things i didn't know, the world IS beginning to make sense.
avery's in the hammock!
and not just the stuff they don't tell you about, or the stuff other mothers DON'T talk about. like the extremely sore nipples, the leaking boobs, the times when i'm alone with him and don't know where to put him while i'm pooping. and the days when i don't even get a chance to poop! or eat for that matter. or how much HE'LL eat. which is CONSTANTLY! or how milk drips into the creases of his fat little neck and begins to smell sour. and how you really use burt's bees lotion to cover up the sour milk neck smell and NOT for dry skin. and how unglamorous motherhood really is, despite everything i've seen and read in PEOPLE magazine.
and then there are the things that people DO talk about, but you somehow think YOU'LL be different. like the not sleeping. and the fatigue. and the "letting yourself go." and how you have trouble concentrating. and how you sort of forget about everything else in the world. or that there even is a world outside of the two of you. and how not a second goes by anymore that i don't think (i.e. worry) about him. and how my life is not really my own anymore. and how little you can get done in a day. other than just contributing to his growing "weight problem." oh, and did i mention the not sleeping?
and then there are the things that i wasn't AT ALL prepared for. like the way his little eyes search my face and make me melt. or the way his little mouth opens up when he's hungry and he looks like a little bird. and how i can't stop kissing him. and kissing him. and kissing him. and how he feels in the croock of my arm at night in bed. and how his warm little body nestles into me and my heart literally swells with love. and how the thought of losing him (god forbid) makes me break into a million pieces. or how surreal it feels to see matt holding him. and the pride i feel as i watch him grow, and smile and laugh...and get to know everyone that loves him. like cousin Charlie, who took a swing in the hammock and tickled his little toes. or that despite all the ways my life has changed, i really couldn't imagine it any other way. and wouldn't want to go back to the way it was.
and despite all the things i didn't know, the world IS beginning to make sense.
avery's in the hammock!
5/9/07
paige is in the hammock
i thought i would find the best hammock photos for my next few posts.
this was last year. it was may. i had just graduated. and we had all celebrated (with a keg in the garage) the night before.
so, the morning after the party, as we all gathered talking and laughing and nursing our hangovers....we couldn't help but wonder, where is paige?
well, paige was in the hammock. and as one would imagine based on this photo, she had spent last night in the
5/4/07
nice shark
anne tells me it's the way of the future...to post videos on blogs. anne did it. tia's been doing it. and now paige has even posted a video! so, here goes! this may be my all time favorite video. charlie was only 3. it was the last day of July. it was hot, very hot. but we were in the shade, enveloped in a hammock where we spent all afternoon "fishing" for croppies, walleys, and even a shark. i'll never forget this day. and i can't believe how much fun i'm going to have with a boy!!!
nice shark from amandapettis
nice shark from amandapettis
4/29/07
gravity
floating in the water, in this pool where we had intended to give birth, i contemplated the beauty of it all. Avery wasn't born into this water, but today, soaking in the warmth of the sun his mother was reborn. and nothing, not even gravity could have pulled me back down to earth.
4/23/07
4/19/07
pea pod
today i told rose ann i'd come out to the farm and help her plant peas. just imagine a little seed entering the earth and becoming this in a few short months....
but i don't think i'll make it out to the farm today. you see, i'm in labor. and yes, i'm blogging about it. just imagine my little pea will be leaving my pod very soon. planted many months ago, it's now ready. wish me and my sweet pea luck...
but i don't think i'll make it out to the farm today. you see, i'm in labor. and yes, i'm blogging about it. just imagine my little pea will be leaving my pod very soon. planted many months ago, it's now ready. wish me and my sweet pea luck...
4/9/07
ultimate sacrifice
i couldn't help but write about the wise words of friends after my last post. not only did people comment on my blog, but my beautiful friends who are mothers called, emailed and even sent notes. a dear friend from oregon wrote to my question: "Is this what life is going to be like from here on out?" Answer: Yes. And no. Ultimate sacrifice meets unbelievable joy. Loss of freedom meets incredible peace. Tears meet laughter. Welcome to motherhood, Amanda.
i cried. i guess these hormones and emotinality also come along with motherhood. i cry a lot these days. sometimes my new found pregnancy giggle becomes so out of control that i begin to cry. and sometimes when i look at matt and think about him holding our baby i begin to cry. and yesterday, on Easter Sunday, i cried in church. right there, while singing "amazing love."
love is amazing. but it is a sacrifce. and then i got to thinking about the "ultimate sacrifice." you know the one. God sending her only son to die for my sins. and i don't even know if i believe in all that. but for some reason yesterday i began to wonder what it would be like if i did believe. with all my heart and all my soul. i closed my eyes and i thought of Jesus on the cross and for the first time understood in a whole new way how Mary must have felt. the sacrifice she made. in the name of love.
but when i'm in church i always wonder why we bow our heads in prayer. why don't we look up? i found myself in a room full of people looking down while i raised my head to meet a ray of sunshine that came right down to greet me as i prayed. mostly i feel unusual or different in times like these. like somehow everyone around me knows i haven't truely given myself over. have not accepted Jesus as my savior. but we all need salvation. we all need to believe.
but in what?
lately, with this life growing inside of me, i find myself closer and closer to figuring this out. and by "this" i mean life. i believe it is all about love. and for the first time in my entire 29 years of life i am finally experiencing unbelievable joy! do you know what that feels like?! so don't worry about me. i may be making the ultimate sacrifice, but i believe, with all my heart and all my soul that it will make way for even more unbelievable joy and love. amen!
i cried. i guess these hormones and emotinality also come along with motherhood. i cry a lot these days. sometimes my new found pregnancy giggle becomes so out of control that i begin to cry. and sometimes when i look at matt and think about him holding our baby i begin to cry. and yesterday, on Easter Sunday, i cried in church. right there, while singing "amazing love."
love is amazing. but it is a sacrifce. and then i got to thinking about the "ultimate sacrifice." you know the one. God sending her only son to die for my sins. and i don't even know if i believe in all that. but for some reason yesterday i began to wonder what it would be like if i did believe. with all my heart and all my soul. i closed my eyes and i thought of Jesus on the cross and for the first time understood in a whole new way how Mary must have felt. the sacrifice she made. in the name of love.
but when i'm in church i always wonder why we bow our heads in prayer. why don't we look up? i found myself in a room full of people looking down while i raised my head to meet a ray of sunshine that came right down to greet me as i prayed. mostly i feel unusual or different in times like these. like somehow everyone around me knows i haven't truely given myself over. have not accepted Jesus as my savior. but we all need salvation. we all need to believe.
but in what?
lately, with this life growing inside of me, i find myself closer and closer to figuring this out. and by "this" i mean life. i believe it is all about love. and for the first time in my entire 29 years of life i am finally experiencing unbelievable joy! do you know what that feels like?! so don't worry about me. i may be making the ultimate sacrifice, but i believe, with all my heart and all my soul that it will make way for even more unbelievable joy and love. amen!
3/30/07
slight crisis
there is a slight crisis happening...i am no longer single (going on 6 years now) and i'm soon going to be a mother-shit!
how did this happen?!
the crisis arises out of several events that have happened this week.
day one.
an invitation to take the train to milwaukee to hang out with my girls. "sorry, can't go. may go into labor right there on the hard vinyl seats." get a call from said girl. she wore satin gloves on the train. she met a boy. he was on his way to chicago. he rolled a cigarette just outside of milwaukee. she gets off there. he gets off too, to smoke. she says goodbye, starts to walk away, then sets her suitcase down, turns around and goes back to kiss him. she kisses him on the lips, then turns and walks away. she calls to tell me all the juicy details. she said it was the gloves.
meanwhile....back at the homefront.....i'm checking her back door to make sure it's locked. it is. i walk (correction: waddle) home in the rain.
day two.
get a call from another good friend. i answer excited. "hello!" there's a lot of background noise, but i manage to hear, "meet us at the stardust in 20 minutes." i think. hmmmmm. "did you call the wrong amanda?" i ask. "oh my god......" laughing histarically. "i'm in new york. i'm trying to get a hold of amanda _________. we're out here taking classes at the broadway dance center. we're done for the evening and going out. but anyway, how are you?" "great" i lie. what i'm really thinking is just great, another friend i could be with. you know i used to be a dancer. in a former life. at least it feels that way. i used to fly off to ocean city and new york to dance and perform. i remember those trips. what happened? "well, i really should get a hold of her so she can meet us." "have fun" i lie.
meanwhile....i'm sitting on my couch watching oprah. suddenly she's not that inspiring.
day three.
this time, i make the call to yet another friend. she's going to seelisa ling speak. she says she may be able to get another ticket. "can't" I say. i'm driving south on I35, heading to the farm. have to clean the horse barn. some guy is getting a divorce and needs a place to live. she meets lisa and gets her picture taken. she is having the time of her life.
meanwhile....i'm scrubbing shit off the floors and mildew off the walls.
is this what life is going to be like from here on out?! can anyone else see the crisis here?! all i have to say is this baby better be really damn cute.
how did this happen?!
the crisis arises out of several events that have happened this week.
day one.
an invitation to take the train to milwaukee to hang out with my girls. "sorry, can't go. may go into labor right there on the hard vinyl seats." get a call from said girl. she wore satin gloves on the train. she met a boy. he was on his way to chicago. he rolled a cigarette just outside of milwaukee. she gets off there. he gets off too, to smoke. she says goodbye, starts to walk away, then sets her suitcase down, turns around and goes back to kiss him. she kisses him on the lips, then turns and walks away. she calls to tell me all the juicy details. she said it was the gloves.
meanwhile....back at the homefront.....i'm checking her back door to make sure it's locked. it is. i walk (correction: waddle) home in the rain.
day two.
get a call from another good friend. i answer excited. "hello!" there's a lot of background noise, but i manage to hear, "meet us at the stardust in 20 minutes." i think. hmmmmm. "did you call the wrong amanda?" i ask. "oh my god......" laughing histarically. "i'm in new york. i'm trying to get a hold of amanda _________. we're out here taking classes at the broadway dance center. we're done for the evening and going out. but anyway, how are you?" "great" i lie. what i'm really thinking is just great, another friend i could be with. you know i used to be a dancer. in a former life. at least it feels that way. i used to fly off to ocean city and new york to dance and perform. i remember those trips. what happened? "well, i really should get a hold of her so she can meet us." "have fun" i lie.
meanwhile....i'm sitting on my couch watching oprah. suddenly she's not that inspiring.
day three.
this time, i make the call to yet another friend. she's going to see
meanwhile....i'm scrubbing shit off the floors and mildew off the walls.
is this what life is going to be like from here on out?! can anyone else see the crisis here?! all i have to say is this baby better be really damn cute.
3/6/07
thin mints
there is nothing thin about me these days. and at the rate i'm burning through the 7 boxes of girl scout cookies i ordered months ago, i'm bound to be even less thin. but dang, do i love those thin mints!
matt prefers the samoas (i did order him a couple of boxes) but the rest are all mine....thin mints.
i love how they crunch and crumble in my mouth. how the waxy chocolate coating doesn't melt in your fingers as you grip them. and the best part is, they come in convenient one-serving sleeves. that's right, i view the long roll of cellophane-wrapped cookies as a single serving. and if you try to tell me otherwise, i might just kill you.
i'm pregnant, hungry, and in LOVE with thin mints.
matt prefers the samoas (i did order him a couple of boxes) but the rest are all mine....thin mints.
i love how they crunch and crumble in my mouth. how the waxy chocolate coating doesn't melt in your fingers as you grip them. and the best part is, they come in convenient one-serving sleeves. that's right, i view the long roll of cellophane-wrapped cookies as a single serving. and if you try to tell me otherwise, i might just kill you.
i'm pregnant, hungry, and in LOVE with thin mints.
2/21/07
only 9 weeks until....
1. i can wear pants that zip
2. i can sleep on my stomach
3. i can drink a few (extra) glasses of wine
4. i can do forward fold in yoga class
5. i can put on my socks with ease
6. i can go for a run
7. i can wear a belt
8. i can quit wondering...boy or girl?
9. i can finally meet my baby!
2. i can sleep on my stomach
3. i can drink a few (extra) glasses of wine
4. i can do forward fold in yoga class
5. i can put on my socks with ease
6. i can go for a run
7. i can wear a belt
8. i can quit wondering...boy or girl?
9. i can finally meet my baby!
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